Breaking the Cycle of Self-Deception

Good Morning! Although it is dreary outside, I rejoice for the promise of LIFE in God's Word! (I must warn you that today's topic is as deep as it is long. I hope you have a little extra time to invest.)

A particular sweet routine has developed over the course of the last week or so. My husband's alarm sounds at 6:30am, he leaves the bedroom, returns five minutes later and then starts his morning grooming ritual: shower, shave, dress, check the weather, shoes, and then disappears again. (All this is going on while I am still in bed, a small blessing from starting the school in my home.) At promptly 6:55am, my husband returns with a yummy cup of coffee for me (which translates: I love you), says his goodbye, and then he is off to work and I won't see him until 4pm. As I drink my coffee, I contemplate the day, check the weather, shower (I don't take the coffee in the shower with me only because the shower is not equipped with a cup holder:), dress, wake kids, then sit down to hear from God, whether through Bible reading or a tv evangelist.

Today's message (on tv) sparked an interest with me especially. This past Sunday in children's church the lesson was on Cain. Not the typical story I grew up learning, but one of self-deception. As you may recall, our downward spiral throughout history has been one of deception, thanks to the serpent that beguiled Eve in the garden. Because of Eve & Adam's sin of doubt(self-deception) and/or disobedience, death entered into our world. Think about it. Doubt is self-deception. Eve knew she wasn't suppose to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil, but the ole' serpent raised a question that sparked doubt...Eve began to think God was holding out on her, she began to question, she began to doubt. She was deceived into thinking God was keeping something from her. Adam-well that's a whole other story all-together. We may get to him at another time. What I want to share with you is what I learned from a children's story on Sunday and had it confirmed today by a minister in Missouri on tv.

Cain. What do you remember about Cain? He murdered his brother, right? Imagine if you will, that Cain decided that he wanted to change things up a bit with his sacrifice of a gift basket of fruits and veggies (since he was a farmer) instead of the required animal sacrifice (which God had initially taught them was acceptable). When God favored Abel's obedient sacrifice over Cain's, that may have stirred a bit of resentment that grew into self-deception. Have you ever had someone choose someone else over you? Maybe being last picked for a team, or your BF choosing someone else to go to the movies with, or someone else getting the promotion for which you have worked so hard.

To Cain, God bypassing his offering may have been offensive, but it wasn't God who was in the wrong. Cain didn't follow God's plan. Can you imagine the bitterness and thoughts flowing through Cain's mind at the time. What thoughts run through your mind when you think you have done good but find out it wasn't accepted?

Self-deception. I don't know about you but I talk to myself. A lot. I even call myself by my full name sometimes. Strange, I know. Besides God, I am usually the only one that listens to me anyway, so no harm-no foul. LOL Problem is, I tend to listen to myself rather than to God. That is where my self-deception takes center stage.

I imagine Cain grumbling and complaining, maybe even pouting about God not liking his sacrifice. That God showed Abel favor. Abel was God's favorite. Why does everything have to be about Abel? Can't you hear the whining tone? ( You can if you are a parent.) It says that Cain got angry, and his countenance fell. I see Cain skulking away, head hanging down like my kids do when they don't get their way. God comes to Cain like a parent and gently corrects him. (I am going to paraphrase here:) "Cain, why are you so upset? Why are you pouting? You know that if you do right and good you will be accepted, but if you choose to do otherwise, sin is at hand. You should control yourself better and not let things (sinful thoughts) get to you."

After hearing what God had to say, Cain goes to his brother to talk. Maybe he went to his brother a little too soon (I have learned from my husband that when you are angry with someone always wait at least a day to confront them; give yourself time to cool down). I think he didn't hear all God was saying about self control and the dangers of sin. They are in the field talking over what was bothering Cain and something may have been said that set off Cain's temper again.

What do boys do when they feel they have to compete? What do boys usually do in order to show that one is better than the other? My boys? They fight. They wrestle. Mind you Author is 5 1/2 years older than Tigger and double him in size. It doesn't matter. They battle it out. Well, let's say, that may have been what happened here with Cain and Abel. A wrestling match gone awry. Then, oops, someone got a little too rough and the other got hurt. Really hurt. Hmmm....

The first homicide. What did Cain do? I think he hid. His parents did when they disobeyed. When God came to him and asked him where Abel was (of course God knew, don't most parents know what happened before they confront their children?). Cain denied knowing and immediately God asked him, "What did you do?" (sound familiar?) God prescribes a disciplinary measure ("grounding") for Cain because of his sin, the thing he loved most to do, farm, would no longer be an option for him. The ground would bring nothing forth from his hard work. (Brown thumb?) To Cain this restriction was a heavy weight. He, also assumed his punishment would be even harsher in that he believed when others saw him, they would want to kill him out of revenge. God assured him that they would not kill him.

I guess I grew up thinking that Cain was someone evil and wicked, vile even. But what I see today is that Cain was just like the rest of us. We pout when we don't get our way, we complain when we aren't chosen or favored, we think thoughts that lead to us deceiving ourselves and believing in the worst. We forget what God has done and how gently He corrects us. God could have killed Cain right then, but he didn't. He wanted Cain to learn from his mistake and to correct his thinking.

I allow deception to control me sometimes. I fear. I fear the worst. (Worry is what we call it today) I fear what people think of me, what I say, what I do, how I am dressed. Growing up I never thought I could do anything right. I wasn't good enough. Things I attempted were either ignored or criticized. I sought acceptance and approval. When I didn't get it, I felt I was worthless. Still, I strive to attain acceptance and approval and end up depressed because I imagine the worst. My self-deception of "I am not good enough" has kept me bound for years. It magnifies my fears, paralyzes my efforts, and keeps me in a depressed frame of mind.

So, how do I propose to break my cycle of self deception? Listening to God. Choosing each day (and each moment as necessary) to do the right and good thing. Choosing to trust God instead of worrying. Choosing to be myself no matter what I think people will think of me or do think of me. Choosing to believe the best instead of imagining the worst.

Life is full of choices. Eve had a choice. She chose to give in to deception and the human race was hurt. Cain had a choice; he chose to give in to deception and his brother died. You & I have a choice. If we allow ourselves to be deceived, we bind ourselves to sin and people get hurt. Sometimes it will be others. But an important lesson to learn here is: Self deception hurts us personally; it causes us to resent ourselves and others.

Breaking this cycle of "I'm not good enough" is not going to be an easy one. Especially one that has been forged for nearly 4 decades. But I have faith, that the destructive thoughts I think will no longer have a hold on me. God gently reminds me that HE is in control and when I give Him the control of my thoughts and life, things are always better than I imagined. God puts before us Life & Death. HE desires that we choose LIFE so HE can show us great and mighty things!

Hoping that today, you choose LIFE and God's blessings be richly poured upon you!

From Scratch

Hello All,

I am a member of Just A Pinch Recipe Club. A while back I came across a doughnut recipe and thought, "this would be neat to try one day." Well, as it is with most things, two months passed, and I had yet to try my hand at it. Well, last week I got the very same recipe in an email from the Club, and felt it was a message from above. The recipe made 3 dozen doughnuts plus holes! Let me just say, there were none left for dessert after dinner! I promised you all a doughnut recipe and here it is!!!

Homemade Doughnuts submitted by Peggi Anne Tebben (club member)
Ingredients:
DOUGHNUTS
1/2 c warm water (not hot)
2 pkg active dry yeast
3/4 c milk, lukewarm
1/4 c sugar
1 tsp salt
4 c all-purpose flour, sifted
1/3 c shortening
2 eggs

GLAZE
1-3 tbsp warm water (as needed, more to thin, less to thicken)
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 confectioner's sugar, sifted

1. Soak yeast in 1/2 c warm water for approx. 5 minutes. Tip: throw in a 1 tsp sugar to kick it in the butt to get it going.
2. Warm the milk and shortening together.
3. Pour milk over sugar and salt in a bowl. Stir until dissolved. Make sure mixture is warm, not hot.
4. Add 1 cup of flour, eggs, and yeast mixture. Beat until smooth. Add remaining flour to make a soft dough. When the dough leaves the sides of the bowl, turn out onto lightly floured board.
5. Knead until dough becomes smooth and elastic. Place in lightly oiled bowl and cover wax paper or plastic wrap. Allow to rise in warm place until doubled. (I turned my oven onto 100 degrees F/warm and sat it in there for 1 1/2 hours.)
6. Roll out dough to 1/2 inch thickness and cut circles with a clean, empty vegetable can or 2" diameter cup. Use a water bottle cap for cutting holes.



7. Let rise on board for 40-60 minutes. (I placed them in the warm oven to rise and cut the time in half.)
8. Heat Cooking oil to 325-350 degrees F. (I heated my oil up on high, then moved it off the eye to cool down.)



9. Drop into hot oil and turn when doughnuts are just barely brown. (It takes less than a minute, so keep a close watch on them.) Turn once and lift to drain.





10. Let doughnuts drain and cool on paper towels.

11. Mix glaze in a bowl. While doughnuts are warm, roll in the glaze and set to dry.



12. Watch them disappear!


ENJOY!
Mama D

I claim this, MY weekend! =)

Hi Everyone!

I am so excited! This is my first FREE weekend! No outside responsibilities! Of course, the usual home chores are piling up, but I chose to take a break and do something for me for a change! HA!

I was deliriously happy last night that such a very long and trying week was over and I could do whatever I wanted. I am sure the kids were wondering what was up with me and probably wondering what I was putting in my coffee! :)

To start my weekend off right, I snatched Vicious away from home to go rent a movie she has been "fit-to-be-tied" to see. While out and about we stopped in at the only Piggly Wiggly we have here to get a sales paper and their coupon policy. Wow was I surprised to see how pricey their products were. But I was not too disappointed. I am sure one of these days I will walk out with some deals and steals;) I am learning to bide my time.

The kiddos requested Pizzones for dinner, so our next stop was at the PizzaHut. I quickly placed my order and was told that it would be ready in 20 minutes. So instead of sitting there staring at perfect strangers, I thought it would be a good idea for Vicious and I to check out the Rite Aid down the street.

Only planning to look around, we walked in, snatched up the sales paper and the rebate paper. We canvassed the store. Looking,"oooh-ing" and "ahhhh-ing" at anything that glittered or danced to a little tune. (i.e. dancing ginger bread man that I believe I absolutely must have for my collection:)) As I walked through the store, I scanned the sales paper for anything that might be good practice. (My sis, Mrs. L, suggested starting small, so I looked for something easy.)

Toothpaste! On the front of the sales paper they have listed Colgate Total Care toothpaste, marked down from $4.19 to $3.50 and when you purchase it the store gives you back $3.50 in +UP rewards (meaning the store paid me what I paid for the toothpaste! HA! Do they know what they are doing??? What a steal!) So with the $3.50 in +UP rewards (remember store $) I turned around and purchased a gallon of milk ($3.59) for 9 cents!!! You can't beat that! WOW! I think I need more toothpaste and milk!

So our first Rite Aid Experiment was a success! I was floating, my mind spinning. It was such a high to save money for a change! Yay!

Today, I am taking my time. I have made pancakes. Savored my Peppermint Mocha Coffee. I even tried out a new recipe. Homemade Doughnuts! From Scratch. I imagined I was the inventor of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts=) I will have to share in my next blog how the doughnuts turned out, but in the words of my fam, YUM!

Check out your Rite Aid Sales Paper, enjoy some "YOU"time, and have a terrific Weekend!
MAMA D

No More Roach Motels for Me!

I have stayed over night in a myriad of places.

I must give my hubby kudos here. Since I have known him, I have not stayed overnight anywhere shabby or undesirable! Thanks honey!

Hubby is a whiz at using Priceline.com for hotel accommodations! Vicious and I had to attend an educator's conference this past Friday and we absolutely fell in love with our room he got for us! It was a residence suite; complete with full working kitchen, living room, internet on the TV, etc....I could go on and on. Easily $130 a night stay. It was amazing and only under $70!

I have stayed in some disgustingly, awful places in the past that I call Roach Motels. Once on a church missions trip, I shared a Motel 8 room (in Texas or Mississippi) with 4-5 teen girls. (My sisters, Mrs. K and Mrs. L may remember this particular room.) I don't think any of us got sleep that night. It was really late when we got the room and this was the only location with a vacancy that would fit our groups size. This particular spot is the "runner up" for the absolute worst place I have ever stayed. What made it so bad? Well, blood smeared on the walls and sheets is a start. We wrapped in blankets we brought or bought on the trip or snuggled down in our jackets. The bathroom, mirrors, and windows were all filthy. And let me not forget the awful orange, dirt-matted shag carpet! We all felt dirty when we left this location. No one, that I can remember, wanted to attempt a shower there. In my memory this was a literal "roach motel. And I can only imagine the things that happened in that room in order for blood to end up on the walls (someone probably hurt themselves racing to get out of that awful room:), but what really boggles my mind is why the blood was still there, and how long had it been since the sheets were changed.

Another really awful hotel experience was in California. It was a Senior trip, I was one of the two chaperons. There was only one SR girl, so we shared a room together. She is a good sport, but if I were to mention this trip to her, she would remember this room vividly! Again, due to poor planning on the part of the trip coordinator, we were looking for a hotel room after midnight and everywhere else was booked up. The only two rooms available were in this very very dark corner of a very dirty city. It wasn't even a hotel. It was a row of shacks! I am serious! If the wind had blown that night, I am afraid I would not be here to tell you this story.

Upon entering our room, we observed its size. Extra small. Big enough for two people to stand in mostly. The majority of the space was taken up by a full size bed. Nothing was new or neat. Worn out carpet, end table had a broken drawer, and the closet, missing a doorknob, was scary. It smelled. Ratty curtains hung on the windows. Upon venturing in the bathroom, we noted the filthy toilet did not have a lid and you flushed the toilet by pulling a string attached to the mechanism inside the tank. There wasn't a shower or a tub. The sink had a bar of dirty soap and the looks of years of grime growing around the faucet. The window in the bathroom had a crack in it, the curtains didn't cover the entire thing and the lock on the window was broken. I think we even found a hapless rusty wrench or tool of some sort to use as protection in case of emergency. Needless to say, I didn't sleep this night either. I counted the ceiling tiles and those that were missing.

I have stayed in some precarious places. I think sometimes that I may have missed my calling. I should be a hotel inspector. Don't get me wrong, I am not high maintenance at all, but I prefer a clean, well-kept hotel room. If I am going to sleep where others have slept possibly the night before or even that same morning, I want to know that the place is clear of any germies, bugs, or nastiness.

A hotel has won my favor IF: the sheets are clean and bed is made neatly; floors vacuumed; towels are folded in a decorative way; no hair on the sink, tub, toilet, or floor; wall paper is not pealing, pictures are hung straight and match the decor, grout in the bathroom is clean and not missing; no stains on the ceiling or rugs, trash cans are empty. It is a bonus if the hotel has gift packages for the guests. I especially like the classy soaps, shampoos, lotions, shower caps, night masks, lavender scented sprays, coffee, popcorn, & chocolate mints.

So, I am thankful for a wonderful husband who takes really good care of me even when I am out of town. Our brief stay at the Residence Inn at Marriott in Duluth, GA was a 10+! When you have stayed in the worst of places, it makes you REALLY appreciate the decent ones!

Here's hoping you don't ever end up staying in any "roach" motels!

Mama D

SURPRISES!

I love surprises! Well, most surprises.

A bug crawling across me, bad surprise.
Guests showing up when my house is a total wreck, bad surprise.
A pile of poo left on my doorstep by our mentally challenged cat, Ms. Thomas, bad surprise.

Husband going to the bedroom before me, only to jump out to scare me as I walk in, fun surprise.
Husband leaving hidden messages for me, fun surprise.
One of my talented kids making up a silly rhyme or funny song at dinner, fun surprise.

Husband waking me with a cup of yummy coffee, nice surprise! (a wonderful way to wake up:)
Kids doing the dishes without being asked, wonderful surprise! (a very rare occurrence)
Free stuff in the mail, packages delivered, or an unexpected phone call from a friend or mom, sweet!

Yesterday:
Finding out at the last minute that Friday's Educator's Conference, which I thought was in Macon, is in Atlanta; bad surprise.
A phone call from my husband saying that he booked Vicious and me a hotel room, so we wouldn't have to get up so early to travel; nice surprise.

Finding out that Netflix just released some of my favorite movies for me to add to my list; awesome!

Being asked out on a date by my 15 y/o son, Author; sweet surprise.
Going to the movies with Author to see Hugh Jackman in Reel Steel; nice surprise. :)

Husband being proud of Vicious and I for tackling an unexpected plumbing project and doing an awesome job, shows up with a brand new toilet for our next plumbing project; interestingly confident surprise:)

Today: (so far)
Before Husband left for work, he left me a surprise on my dresser that made me smile and laugh out loud.

I want to give a shout out to my loving husband who loves surprising me in many different ways, and to my son, who surprised me yesterday by how mature he is becoming and how fast he is growing up.

I hope your Thursday is full sweet, nice, awesome, and fun surprises!

Mama D

Tackling Tuesday

Good Morning All!

Yes, I know today's title is Tackling Tuesday on a Wednesday. Well that is how it is sometimes...a day late and a dollar short (as the saying goes). Really, I was trying to give my Vicious a chance to post. But I cannot wait any long to share this with you!

It was a rough Tuesday, but there was a bright spot at the end of the day. I will not bore you with the difficult details of school yesterday, just imagine, it's the end of the quarter and everyone is under pressure to get finished before report cards. The bright spot came, when I actually got to get out of the house. Vicious and I grabbed our battle plan (shopping/sale list), coupons, money, Thinking Caps (ridiculously silly hats), and keys and headed out of the door. The destination: Winn Dixie.

Let me be clear, this is not my favorite store, although I enjoy the deals & steals. Why don't I like it, you might ask. Well, I am slightly OCD (or CDO for my friends with the same challenge) :) The store isn't set up the way my mind works. And all the Winn Dixies here are the same. So, what would have only taken 20 minutes in a more organized store took us an hour. Maybe your Winn Dixie is like mine: frozen stuff in the middle, pasta stuff with the toiletries, pet food next to the cereal. I don't get how or why it is set up that way, but you would think that it would be set up logically. Nope. Guess they hope we will buy more or see more to buy if we wander around lost. :/

Anyway! On to the good news. (Pause a second to take a look at the picture above! All that was free!) Winn Dixie usually has Buy One Get One FREE deals (B1G1 or BOGO). This is what I love about Winn Dixie. Tuesday was the last day to get the wonderful deal & steals on their BOGO meat products. Chicken, pork chops, ribs, steaks! Oh Yes!!! That's what I am talking about. I usually only buy ground turkey, hot dogs, or chicken when it is at its lowest price. So our menu has become quite boring. Until I saw the BOGO meat list for Winn Dixie! Steaks at $9 lb I would quickly pass up, but when they are BOGO it is like get steaks at half price. Needless to say, we stocked up.

Winn Dixie also has two other great buy deals: Meal Deal & What-a-Deal. Last Week's Meal Deal was Buy two Large Red Baron Pizzas, and you would get ice cream, 2 liter 7up, Totino's Pizza rolls, & Tyson Chicken Fingers for FREE! The What-a-Deal special was: buy two 25 oz Pantene shampoos or conditioners and you would get cotton balls, Ivory soap, Secret deodarant, and Crest toothpaste for free.

There were other items (not on our list but I knew we needed) that we found BOGO while wandering around lost. We got funny looks from some nosey shoppers when we rolled our cart passed them filled with feminine hygiene products. Guess they don't have a lot of girls at their house. :)

Although, I spent more than I intended, I still felt excited about our savings! $68+ FREE! A savings total of 42%! We are nowhere near being extreme couponers, but we are loving learning how it works and sharing it with others! If you are curious how you can be a Shopping Ninja and do this too, try www.southernsavers.com or www.coupondivas.com. (below are the receipts from our first two shopping savvy trips.)
Get out your silliest hat and go to town!
Mama D